Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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