Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
