my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
