Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
two words: eviction party
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
