The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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