i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize