you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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