We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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