worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
