I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize