guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
