summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize