She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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