My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
