The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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