help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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