are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
BRING THE BAGELS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
