his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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