Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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