I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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