Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
