Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
