apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
