Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
