I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
