I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
