the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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