Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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