For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
two words...techno handjob
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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