This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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