well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
