a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
