you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
