ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
