girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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