I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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