Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
