When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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