So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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