well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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