Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize