of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
