Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
