Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
