did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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