wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
