oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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