I just saw a hot homeless man
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
