she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
