You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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