I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
