I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
