as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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