Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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