it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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