Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
