I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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