I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
