What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
