R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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