Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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